Parenting Tips: 5 Ways to Teach difference between Good touch and Bad touch
As parents, it’s essential to teach our children about personal boundaries and body safety from an early age. This includes understanding the ‘No Touch’ policy, which means teaching kids that certain parts of their body are private and that no one, including friends, relatives, or strangers, should touch them inappropriately.
I’m Hema, a mom to a 3-year-old girl, Aarna, and a teacher with 8 years of experience. I introduced Aarna to the concept of good touch and bad touch when she turned 3. It’s never too early to start, and in this blog, I’ll share five practical ways to teach your child the ‘No Touch’ policy in a way they’ll understand and feel empowered by.
1. Use Simple and Clear Language
🗣️ “Your body is your own.”
Why It Matters:
Young children need clear and direct messages about their bodies. When I introduced this to Aarna, I used simple phrases like, “Your body is your own, and no one should touch your private parts.”How to Do It:
You can start by naming body parts correctly (head, arms, legs, private parts) and explaining that certain parts are private and only to be touched by them or a trusted adult (like a parent or doctor) when necessary. Be calm and matter-of-fact about it to avoid making the topic feel scary.Parenting Tip:
Make sure your child understands that if anyone tries to touch their private parts, they have the right to say “No!” loud and clear.
2. Teach the Concept of Good Touch vs. Bad Touch
✋ “Good touches make you feel safe, bad touches make you feel uncomfortable.”
Why It Matters:
Children need to understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching. I used to explain to Aarna that good touches make you feel happy and safe, like a hug from mom or a pat on the back from a teacher. But bad touches make you feel uncomfortable or scared.How to Do It:
Use relatable examples like hugging a parent or holding hands with a friend for good touches. For bad touches, explain that any touch that makes them feel uneasy or that happens to their private parts is not okay, even if it’s from someone they know.Parenting Tip:
Let your child know that bad touches can happen from people they know, not just strangers. This helps them understand boundaries regardless of the relationship.
3. Role-Playing Scenarios
🎭 “Let’s practice what to say if someone touches you inappropriately.”
Why It Matters:
Role-playing helps children practice how to respond in uncomfortable situations. I practiced this with Aarna by pretending to be different people—family, friends, or strangers—so she could learn how to assert herself confidently.How to Do It:
Create safe scenarios where your child can practice saying “No!” and running away. You can also practice saying, “Please stop, I don’t like that!” Role-playing builds confidence in responding to inappropriate touches without feeling panicked or unsure.Parenting Tip:
Regularly revisit these role-playing exercises, so your child feels confident about what to do if the situation ever arises.
4. Create a List of Safe Adults
👩👩👦 “If you ever feel uncomfortable, these are the people you can trust.”
Why It Matters:
It’s important for kids to know that if they ever feel uncomfortable, they have a safe network of adults they can turn to. Aarna knows that she can come to me, her dad, or her teacher anytime she feels scared or unsure.How to Do It:
Make a list with your child of trusted adults—like parents, grandparents, teachers, or doctors. Teach them that if anyone breaks the ‘No Touch’ rule, they should immediately tell one of these trusted adults, even if the person who touched them tells them to keep it a secret.Parenting Tip:
Reassure your child that telling you or another safe adult about bad touches is never wrong. They should never feel ashamed or scared to share their feelings.
5. Read Books and Watch Educational Videos Together
📚 “Let’s learn more about body safety together.”
Why It Matters:
Books and videos can be great tools for reinforcing the ‘No Touch’ policy in a fun and interactive way. I often read books to Aarna that discuss body safety in simple terms, and it helps her understand that it’s a normal and important thing to learn.How to Do It:
Choose age-appropriate books that explain body autonomy, such as “My Body Belongs to Me” by Jill Starishevsky or “No Means No!” by Jayneen Sanders. Watch short, educational videos that explain body safety in a way that is easy for your child to grasp.Parenting Tip:
Use these resources as a conversation starter and ask your child questions afterward, like “What would you do if someone made you feel uncomfortable?” It’s a great way to reinforce the message.
Q&A:
1. At what age should I start teaching my child about the ‘No Touch’ policy?
Start as early as 2 or 3 years old using simple, clear language about body parts and boundaries.
2. How can I explain the difference between GoodTouch and BadTouch without scaring my child?
Use calm, positive language, explaining that their body belongs to them and that some touches are not okay (like touching private parts).
3. What should I do if my child feels uncomfortable or confused about the concept?
Be patient, reassure them, and revisit the topic over time to keep the conversation open and ongoing.
4. How often should I talk to my child about body safety and boundaries?
Revisit the conversation regularly, especially during life changes like starting school, and use everyday moments to reinforce boundaries.
5. How do I ensure my child will come to me if they experience an inappropriate touch?
Build trust, remind them they can always talk to you, and ensure they know it’s never their fault if something inappropriate happens.
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