Parenting Tips: 5 Things to Say After Yelling at Your Child!
Hi, I’m Hema, a mom to a 3-year-old girl named Aarna, and I have 8 years of experience as a teacher and counselor. In both my classroom and at home, I’ve had my fair share of difficult moments that’s why i can to share the related Parenting tips to ease other’s life. As parents, we all make mistakes, and yes, that includes raising our voices sometimes. But what I’ve learned over the years—both with my students and now as a mom—is that how we repair things after those moments matters most.
If you’ve yelled at your child, don’t worry—there are ways to reconnect and make things right. Let me share with you five things I do with my daughter and taught parents during my teaching years to help heal the situation and foster stronger bonds.
Here are five questions every parent might want to know about repairing the relationship after yelling at their child:
- How do I apologize to my child without feeling guilty?
- Will apologizing make my child respect me less as a parent?
- What should I do if my child doesn’t want to talk after I’ve yelled?
- How can I prevent myself from yelling again in stressful situations?
- How do I teach my child to manage their emotions when I struggle with mine?
1. Acknowledge Your Actions
🗣️ “I’m Sorry I Yelled.”
Why It Matters:
As a teacher, I’ve often seen how powerful it is for children to hear adults acknowledge their mistakes. Apologizing to your child teaches them that everyone, even parents, can make mistakes and that taking responsibility is important. When I first apologized to Aarna after raising my voice, her little eyes lit up with understanding.How to Do It:
In a calm moment, I’ll approach Aarna and say something like, “I’m really sorry I yelled earlier. That wasn’t the right way to handle it.” It’s so important to be sincere—kids can sense when we’re just saying the words.Parenting Tips:
Leave the excuses out of your apology. A simple, heartfelt “I’m sorry” is all they need.
2. Explain Your Feelings
❤️ “I Was Frustrated, But That’s Not Your Fault.”
Why It Matters:
Children, especially at Aarna’s age, often think they are responsible for how adults feel. Explaining your emotions without blaming them helps clarify the situation. When I tell Aarna that I was frustrated because things were chaotic but it wasn’t her fault, it helps her understand that the yelling wasn’t about her as a person.How to Do It:
I usually sit down at her level and say, “I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated because there were so many things going on, but that doesn’t mean I should have yelled at you. It wasn’t your fault.”Parenting Tips:
By explaining your emotions, you’re helping your child develop their own emotional intelligence. It also reassures them that they didn’t cause your anger.
3. Reassure Your Love
🤗 “I Love You No Matter What.”
Why It Matters:
I remember teaching in the classroom and seeing kids’ faces light up when they realized that even if they made mistakes, their teacher still cared for them. The same applies at home. When I tell Aarna, “I love you no matter what,” I’m reassuring her that my love doesn’t depend on perfect behavior.How to Do It:
I usually pair this with a hug or a snuggle. I tell Aarna, “I love you no matter what, even when things get hard.” This has become a comforting mantra in our house.Parenting Tips:
Physical affection goes a long way in reinforcing your words. Whether it’s a hug, holding their hand, or simply sitting close, that closeness deepens the emotional reassurance.
4. Encourage Communication
👂 “Let’s Talk About What Happened.”
Why It Matters:
Over my years as a teacher, I’ve learned that kids need a safe space to talk about their feelings. Giving them the chance to share how they feel after a conflict builds trust. At home, I do the same with Aarna. I’ll ask her, “How did you feel when mommy yelled?” and I listen without interrupting.How to Do It:
When I ask Aarna, “What were you thinking when I yelled?” or “How did that make you feel?” I’m creating a space where she feels comfortable expressing herself. Sometimes she’ll say she felt sad or scared, and it’s important for me to hear that.Parenting Tips:
Avoid justifying your actions while they are talking. Let them share fully before you respond. This helps them feel heard and valued.
5. Work Together on Solutions
🛠️ “How Can We Handle This Better Next Time?”
Why It Matters:
Empowering children to come up with solutions builds their confidence and problem-solving skills. I do this with Aarna and with my students, and it’s amazing how even young children can contribute valuable ideas.How to Do It:
I’ll say to Aarna, “Next time, what can we both do so we don’t get upset?” Sometimes she surprises me with simple solutions like, “We can take a deep breath” or “We can play quietly for a minute.”Parenting Tips:
Involving your child in finding solutions not only helps prevent future conflicts but also strengthens your relationship, showing that you are a team.
As parents, it’s inevitable that we’ll have moments where we lose our cool. What I’ve learned as a mom to Aarna and through my experience teaching children is that how we handle the aftermath of those moments is what matters most. Apologizing, explaining our emotions, and working on solutions together fosters a stronger bond between parent and child.
So, the next time you catch yourself raising your voice, remember this that the repair is just as important as the mistake. By using these five phrases, you’re teaching your child important lessons about communication, emotional regulation, and unconditional love.
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